“15 things I learned from my (I believe) failed attempt at a first relationship and inexperience with guys: 1. Not all love is the same. It’s not always something novel like and perfect. You may define love as just a daily, simple goodnight. Others may define it as a bouquet of flowers every Friday or Sunday. 2. Just because someone doesn’t say they love you, doesn’t mean they don’t feel it. It’s not always shown through words. Half of the time, it’s through actions. Even the tiniest of actions. (This was hard for me to believe because the guy I loved didn’t know what love was, which is another point.) 3. Not everyone knows what love is. It’s as simple as that. They don’t know how to say ‘I love you’ and feel it at the same time, even if they say otherwise. There are different kinds of love; family, friends, puppy-love, and being in love. All of which can be felt more than once. And all of which is felt by every human being with a beating heart. 4. Everyone has someone that will change them, even if that someone is in their life for a short time. You will find someone who you won’t just fall in love with, but someone who will make you fall in love with yourself and who you want to be. There’s a person out there that is meant for you to be with, even if it’s not for forever. 5. Even the strongest of people are scared of something. They’re cowards, too. 6. It’s ok to be so infatuated with someone that you forget about yourself occasionally, but not to the point of self-loathe or destruction. You can’t lose your own heart by giving it to another. 7. There are people who are extremely easy to fall in love with, pleasurable to love, and heart wrenchingly hard to fall out of love with. 8. Such people tend to use one’s heart for their own confidence, whether they know it or not. Though even the most selfish of people can, and will, feel love. But remember, just because it might not have been with you, it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. 9. Your love is not comparable to other love. It is your own. Whether you think love is as simple as missing your own birthday dinner to go to your boyfriends game, or it’s having such crazy spontaneity with your girlfriend that you don’t need to know what you’re going to do next. There is no Venn diagram to compare love. 10. Sometimes the person who you thought you love the most isn’t the person you need. You can get so blinded by what you have in front of you, that you lose the sight of chances for the future. You have to tell them how you feel; communicate. Sometimes that doesn’t always work. Love is love. It works when it needs to. Every moment you thought was torture, was educational pain. You will learn from the failed love and know what you deserve. 11. When you’re ruined, don’t run into the arms of another man. Run into the arms of your friends and family. Don’t try and spite the one who hurt you. Don’t try and make them feel what you feel. That’s impossible. It’s impossible to know how someone feels, even if they tell you word for word. 12. They won’t always miss you the way you miss them. That’s the awful thing about love; it’s not always 50/50 the whole entire time when it comes to showing how you feel. (For me, it never was.) 13. Don’t be envious if the other person has moved on. Let them move on, let them keep going. Usually, just let them grow up. That’s what most have to do anyways. 14. Feelings never go away quickly. They fade away like a permanent pen on skin. No matter how hard you scrub, it will only end with you raw and in pain with fading memories still stained on your hand. Don’t force the feelings away, just distract yourself. Time is your best friend. 15. The most important; don’t forget that a relationship of any kind always needs constant effort from both sides. One sided love never works. One sided love is painful. One sided love ruins the person loving. One sided love can not exist. You will love someone and it will come naturally. It can not be forced. Don’t forget that love is beautiful, fragile, but lasting, whether you experience it over and over again, or just once.”
— I hopelessly loved someone who didn’t know how to love and this is what I learned after he said he didn’t love me anymore
